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WesternSFA


The Henchperson's Guide to Unionizing
by Marshall J. Moore
Bantam, $20.00, 363pp
Published: September 2026

Igor is the typical mad scientist's assistant: obedient, hunchbacked, clever.  Grimalkin is a mad witch's familiar: smart, clever, a little vocal and definitely not born a cat.  Cornelia is the textbook vampire bride: young, beautiful and obedient.

They all have more power than they think they do.

Igor and his master, the Doctor, were just driven out of their home before they could complete their latest attempt to create life; pitchforks and torches were part of it. Igor is the one who procures fresh body parts, keeps the inventory neat, provides for the Doctor, and is the one who carefully prepares each Subject's body.  Not that he ever gets any thanks for it.  The two end up at a castle that belonged to the Doctor's family, back in the day.  It appears abandoned and looks perfect for them.

But the castle isn't empty; the Count and his undead bride, Cornelia, live there.  And they aren't awfully happy to host squatters. Cornelia is unhappy but compelled to do as her husband bids; and he mostly bids her to hunt for him as he's too lazy to do so.  She has evolved her own principle in that she only hunts and kills bad men and for this the townswomen have named her the Angel of Mercy.

It gets even more crowded when Doctor and Igor are followed to the castle by the witch Mag and her familiar, Grimalkin.  Mag accidently destroyed her home with her last attempt to summon a dread lord and she's looking for a new home. Grim wasn't always a cat; it was once a summoned demon that Mag turned into a cat to be her assistant.  It's Grim's task to find elements required for Mag to summon the Unsmiling King who will remake the world in his image.  Grim has decided that being a cat in our world is infinitely superior to how it lived before and it has no intention of allowing Mag to destroy the world it now loves.  But if it doesn't do as Mag bids, it might be turned back into the tentacled monster it once was.

The three groups find common purpose in cohabiting the castle in that, together, they might be able to stave off the inevitable murderous mob.

The story's main protagonist is Igor and it is his voice we hear.  Igor is actually pretty happy at his work.  He's good at it but he desperately longs for a compliment, an acknowledgement, or even a pat on his hump from his Master.  And in spite of the verbal and emotional abuse, he continues to do what he considers 'the great work.'  As the Master reminds him over and over again, their work will change the world if they are able to actually create life from dead parts.  What he didn't realize he needed was a friend.  Grim becomes his first friend; they are able to commiserate and support each other.  They also befriend Cornelia who has begun a friendship (and maybe something more) with Laura, the gravedigger who willingly takes Igor's bribes to let him into the cemetery to do his job.

The three go about their respective jobs, resigned to their existence which is now better for having friends.  But when Mag starts to achieve success in her quest to summon the Unsmiling King (which has a lot of tentacles), Grim begs her friends to help stop the summoning.  Igor doesn't have a lot of affection for his world where people hate him for how he looks; so, at first, he doesn't really care.  But, upon reflection, a world changed by the Unsmiling King might not have room for the Doctor's great work and Igor is still committed to the project. 

Meanwhile, Grim goes on strike and defies Mag. Cornelia refuses to hunt for the Count who punishes her dreadfully.  Igor finally snaps and confronts the Doctor with his grievances; who, unfortunately, then fires Igor.   As Igor prepares to leave town (for a beach, hopefully), he encounters a mob preparing to storm the castle.  Unable to leave his friends undefended, he hurries back to the castle to warn everyone. But Mag is too preoccupied with her spell to care, the Doctor is in the last stages of animation waiting only for a lightning strike from the approaching storm, and the Count isn't brave enough to face down the mob.  Grim is doing all in its power to thwart the spell but it won't be enough, Cornelia has finally found a way (with the help of her friends) to break the Count's hold over her.  But it's Igor who comes up with an idea to save the day - and it's a doozy!

At first I wanted to conjure up Marty Feldman's Igor but I quickly realized it didn't fit.  This Igor is intelligent, thoughtful, loyal and delightful to get to know. The story is his despite the contributions of the other characters; his is the real journey of discovery and growth.  There are subtle touches that speak to both management in the form of the Doctor, Mag and the Count and to the workers who will need to unite to save themselves.  It is not a humorous story although the tone is very light. The writing is really good, the plot is clever, and the resolution was unexpected.  I was thoroughly entertained.  ~~ Catherine Book

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