This is an utterly delightful story despite its beginning…

One night the Earth is completely flattened by aliens.  Every single structure that had a top: buildings, vehicles, outhouses, lean-to’s, cardboard boxes…all completely squashed.  The only people who survived were those outside at the moment.  And in a nod to Douglas Adams, the aliens reminded all the survivors that they had been given plenty of time to log a proper appeal to the seizure of the planet’s mineral rights.  We had a whole fifty years to complain after the initial Act was filed…fifteen hundred years ago.  But mineral rights aren’t where the real money is …

Carl was outside at 230am trying to get his girlfriend’s cat, Princess Donut, back into the house; dressed in a shirt and boxers, a jacket and pink crocs (his shoes were nowhere to be found at the moment).  The aliens’ announcement clarified that the corporation, Borant, which had taken control of the planet was giving all the survivors a chance to participate in an 18-Level World Dungeon game as Crawlers.  And that successful completion of all 18 levels would allow the successor to reclaim the planet.  A door was opened and a freezing Carl and Princess Donut dived in; the alternative of staying outside in the freezing cold when there was literally nothing left standing just wasn’t as desirable. 

Once inside, in true dungeon game style, they were afforded a Tutorial and a Guildmaster to help guide them.  Once the tutorial was complete, they then had access to their Inventory.  If you game, you know exactly what I’m saying.  Now, Carl and Princess Donut got kind of a jump on the process as they were attacked by a goblin horde before getting inside the safe room to do the tutorial.  Once Carl destroyed the goblin horde all by himself, he was awarded quite a few things that appeared in his inventory; including a Pet Biscuit.  Now this Pet Biscuit could have done several things: fed the cat, transformed the cat into a flesh-eating monster, or…transform the cat into a Crawler.  Carl was appalled to discover that in addition to talking, Princess Donut had more intelligence and more charisma than him so the system designated her as the Party Leader; a party of two.

The system only allows Crawlers to be on a floor for a specified amount of time; after which the floor collapses and only Crawlers who were able to find a stairwell down to the next level will survive.  During this time, Crawlers are encouraged to “kill, kill, kill” so they can level up their skills.  There are safe rooms where they are able to eat, sleep and plan.

I’m not an avid gamer but this was easy to follow and completely hysterical.  Poor Carl is actually pretty quick on the uptake and figures out how to play but Princess Donut is way better than him.  And despite his wins, he can’t seem to find shoes or a pair of pants.  But, back to the money:  mineral rights were never Borant Corporation’s true target.  It’s the Game; because it’s transmitted to billions of sentient beings all over the universe who, in true Reality Game fashion, find favorites and spend money.  As for the Crawlers, it’s critical to be noticed so they can gain followers and patrons; beings who might favor them with valuable loot.  And this is where Princess Donut really shines.  Being a champion show cat, she is completely aware of crowd appeal and knows exactly how to play a crowd.

As Carl and Donut navigate Level 1, they find more crawlers – some friendly, some lethal – and learn to kill mobs and Bosses; all with the intent to find the next stairwell and continue playing…er...living. And to make the story more complex and interesting, they discover there is behind-the-scenes drama happening within the Corporation that may limit the lives of all Crawlers.

And the author gives us one more bit of fun at the end.  There is a serialized story-within-a-story that introduces us to “backstage” which, apparently, is where mobs (maybe others?) can be safely stored until they reenter the game. It follows a female goblin who, because of an encounter with Donut, has decided that she doesn’t want to just be cannon fodder; she has a real name now and she wants to live.  The story is titled “Backstage at the Pineapple Cabaret” which is a nod to goblins everywhere and the next installment will be at the end of the second book in the series.

This is easy-to-read stuff, fun, and interesting as the reader becomes invested in their efforts; wondering what they’ll have to do next to survive.  Carl is a well-drawn character; Donut is also interesting and although we don’t get inside her head, we still get a strong sense of her character development – from a diva to a bad-ass.  This story gets them through Levels 1 and 2, so the gentle reader has a lot more fun to expect from this author. And the author promises that it will get darker…very, very dark.  ~~  Catherine Book

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